So this past spring semester, I went through a fabulous workbook by an amazing woman named Beth Moore called Breaking Free. It changed a lot about how i view my walk with God.
I am now reading the book that goes with that workbook. A bit out of order, I admit, but the workbook was so heavy i had to do one at a time. I have been learning so much about the Lord and myself that I am going to start specifically blogging about how that book is changing my life and my relationships with God and other people. The Lord is going to do some mighty things. I only expect it to happen both the most difficult and best way possible.
Part 1 and the beginning of Part 2. Chapters 1-4.
Key Verse: Isaiah 61:1-4.
Do I REALLY believe God?
I mean, if it came to a life and death situation, or the choice between being "alone" and being with someone for the rest of my life, would I REALLY choose the Lord? I can say I would all I want, but my recent thought processes would say other wise.
Honestly, I don't believe God is going to give me the best. It is a daily struggle for me to give up myself and my life to someone I won't physically see till my life is over. I believe He sent His son to die on the cross for me and that He loves me and all that. But lately I have been struggling with believing He will follow through. I have made myself an idol. I mean literally, myself, an idol. Beth Moore is using Isaiah and the first 33 chapters(i think that's what it was), to show that when God told the Israelites to only believe in Him, they didn't and thus made themselves and their sinful desires an idol. This means the desire to control my life is an idol. I believe God has good plans for me...in some aspects. I mean, going on an amazing Summer Project was His plan, and meeting my boyfriend at Winter Conference was in His plan, Resonate was in His plan, but sucking at school is really dragging me down. Not being able to use the talents I have to serve the Lord is hurting . I don't really see any sort of direction in my life at the moment. I don't see where i am going or what I am doing. All i see is that I will be doing ministry and that is awesome, but part of me wants a "real" job. Whatever that means. I am rambling. What I am trying to say is that the first thing i have learned from this book is that we never believe God as much as we think we do. There is ALWAYS something in the way of FULLY believing He is our God and nothing else is. There is always something distracting us from Him. Whether it's pride or fear, it is there. I wish this were not so.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
.
The following Chart was in a reading by Elmer Towns in my to read section of my Theology Class.
It's probably one of the most life changing articles I have ever read, and I suggest asking me to print you off a copy cause it's pretty amazing. It's all stuff we have all heard one way or another throughout life, but to have it all in one place written by a super wise man is pretty amazing. He also included this awesome C.S. Lewis quote, which I love.
Every time you make a choice, you are turning the control part of you into something a little different from what you were before. And taking your life as a whole, with all its innumerable choices, you are slowly turning the control thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish one.” – C. S. Lewis
Left side people Right side people
a. Emotion based a. Character based.
b. “What is easiest? b. “What is right?
c. “When I feel good, then I’ll do it. c. “When I do it, then I’ll feel good.
d. Controlled by moods d. Controlled by priorities
.
e. Selfish mindset e. Servanthood mindset
f. Life and lips disagree f. Life and lips agree
g. Looks for excuses g. Looks for solutions
h. Outward influenced h. Inward influenced
i. Quits during tough times i. Continues during tough times
j. This person whines j. This person wins
– by John Maxwell
In other awesome news, I started reading Isaiah, and then 2 weeks later started reading Breaking Free by Beth Moore. Guess what the book is based around? Isaiah. Awesome right?
1 month till boyfriend comes home
3 days till Centrifuge Camp with Resonate
1 month till Worship Retreat and VStaff Retreat
1 month till my birthday :)
1 month and a week till i start to HOPEFULY work at Zoe underground :)
life is good.
The following Chart was in a reading by Elmer Towns in my to read section of my Theology Class.
It's probably one of the most life changing articles I have ever read, and I suggest asking me to print you off a copy cause it's pretty amazing. It's all stuff we have all heard one way or another throughout life, but to have it all in one place written by a super wise man is pretty amazing. He also included this awesome C.S. Lewis quote, which I love.
Every time you make a choice, you are turning the control part of you into something a little different from what you were before. And taking your life as a whole, with all its innumerable choices, you are slowly turning the control thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish one.” – C. S. Lewis
Left side people Right side people
a. Emotion based a. Character based.
b. “What is easiest? b. “What is right?
c. “When I feel good, then I’ll do it. c. “When I do it, then I’ll feel good.
d. Controlled by moods d. Controlled by priorities
.
e. Selfish mindset e. Servanthood mindset
f. Life and lips disagree f. Life and lips agree
g. Looks for excuses g. Looks for solutions
h. Outward influenced h. Inward influenced
i. Quits during tough times i. Continues during tough times
j. This person whines j. This person wins
– by John Maxwell
In other awesome news, I started reading Isaiah, and then 2 weeks later started reading Breaking Free by Beth Moore. Guess what the book is based around? Isaiah. Awesome right?
1 month till boyfriend comes home
3 days till Centrifuge Camp with Resonate
1 month till Worship Retreat and VStaff Retreat
1 month till my birthday :)
1 month and a week till i start to HOPEFULY work at Zoe underground :)
life is good.
Friday, July 9, 2010
forever young
A little bit of my story:
I had a fabulous childhood. Probably one of the best a kid could ever ask for. My parents both did not have a great childhood, my mom especially. So when they got married and decided to have kids, they promised each other they would do nothing but pour out love on their children. My little brother and I were home-schooled till high school. We also went to the same church, Calvary Chapel of Olympia, till we graduated high school. I had every opportunity I could have ever dreamed of growing up. I did absolutely everything a little girl could want to do; from going to disneyland to horseback riding, to getting an American Girl Doll for Christmas and learning how to surf. I did everything...except get involved with Young Life. I guess it was because i went to a Christian high-school, or it might have been because my youth group was so amazing. I just never really got invovled..it was only at the public high-schools. My parents wouldn't let me go to young life camp because they said I didn't need to, so i never went.
Till this past week.
I'm not even in high-school, and I am pretty sure I love it just as much as all of them do.
I came to visit my boyfriend, he was generous enough to bring me. I have loved being here and being around him. We have been dating for 6 months now. Well, on Sunday we will have been. Seeing him use his talents to serve the Lord in a way that ministers to the hearts of the kids is so wonderful and I'm so blessed to have been here to encourage him. kind of crazy how God works. All of his co-workers have been asking me about our(Gus and I's) story, and every time I tell it, it amazes me where I was spiritually and emotionally, in December/January. I was ready to be a missionary, spend the rest of my life paying off school debt, while traveling the world playing music and hanging out with beautiful babies in different third world countries...maybe i would have dreads and maybe i would have been chillin' with my bestie Jessica Mcfaul on the beach in South America. Or maybe I would be in a band, like Hillsong. What never crossed my mind, however, was the thought of being in love. The idea of visiting my boyfriend whom i am in love with at Crooked Creek Ranch Young Life Camp, and hanging out with 400 high schoolers all week, would not have seemed appealing to me at the time. Now, however, I have officially feel in love with not only my boyfriend, but Young Life. I have met some amazing people, seen some amazing things, and experienced some awesome times with Gus.
The person that stood out to me the most I have met, is a guy named Zach. He has worked here a few times over the years, and everyone in the intern house and on staff loves the guy. He has a mental disability, but he does not let it affect the way he lives, or what he wants to do. While Gus was telling me a little bit about him, he told me Zach was writing a book. The next day I got the chance to ask Zach what his book was about. He told me a few summers ago he planned a 3 month, 18 state road trip to reunite with friends and family. The day before he left, he met a girl at a coffee shop, and 2 days later, they were talking about Jesus over breakfast. He said he then realized that if he was intentional with people and with being in relationships with people, a complete stranger would turn into a friend. I was amazed. Not only had this guy completely immersed his life in the healing power of Jesus Christ and conquered his disability, but also made an effort a lot of us don't make that God has called us to. As I sat in amazement listening to him, he told me his book is nothing but conversations with people he had on his road trip. I was pretty impressed, and told him I can't wait to read his book when it gets published.
Another group of people I got introduced to in a new way, were high-schoolers. I guess I built up a sort of resentment towards high schoolers, because my years of being in jr. high/high school were not always awesome..and i was FAR from being an awesome kid. I was mean to my friends and tried to immerse myself in youth group so I could mask my bad behavior. And this generation of high-schoolers don't have an awesome rep..similar to me ha. My heart softened though, as the week went on. Every activity these kids did was intentional to bring them and their group closer to their leaders and closer to the Lord. As the week went on, and the talks at Club got more and more intentional and intense, I started to realize that this is a lot like Campus Crusade for Christ, but for high schoolers. And these kids need Jesus just as much as I do. As much as the people at WSU need Him. For me to judge them or not be around them is ridiculous. Pretty soon they will end up like me and my friends, struggling to have a great community and walk with Christ out in this crazy world of ours...and Young LIfe introduces them to a walk with Christ and a better lifestyle. I loved everything about this camp and about this week. The thing that stood out to me the most was a time called real life, where a few of the leaders on Program, staff, and the worship leader of the week shared how they came to Christ through Young Life and how their lives have been touched by Jesus. THen after they finished (they split it up into 3 days), they brought out a lot of the leaders with cardboard signs, and one side had a sentence that described their life before jesus, then on the other side a sentence describing their current life. It was incredibly powerful. The one that stood out to me the most was:
"Religion left me feeling trapped"
"Relationship with Christ set me Free."
I know right? pretty amazing.
So over all...this week has been pretty amazing. Even though I had a rough day yesterday just because Gus and I were so tired, today is a new day and sadly it's my last. I hope to return ... maybe next summer...maybe work here? thinking that might be an amazing experience.
Anyways...long story short..young life is awesome. and i am sad i didn't fully get to embrace/understand/love it till now.
I had a fabulous childhood. Probably one of the best a kid could ever ask for. My parents both did not have a great childhood, my mom especially. So when they got married and decided to have kids, they promised each other they would do nothing but pour out love on their children. My little brother and I were home-schooled till high school. We also went to the same church, Calvary Chapel of Olympia, till we graduated high school. I had every opportunity I could have ever dreamed of growing up. I did absolutely everything a little girl could want to do; from going to disneyland to horseback riding, to getting an American Girl Doll for Christmas and learning how to surf. I did everything...except get involved with Young Life. I guess it was because i went to a Christian high-school, or it might have been because my youth group was so amazing. I just never really got invovled..it was only at the public high-schools. My parents wouldn't let me go to young life camp because they said I didn't need to, so i never went.
Till this past week.
I'm not even in high-school, and I am pretty sure I love it just as much as all of them do.
I came to visit my boyfriend, he was generous enough to bring me. I have loved being here and being around him. We have been dating for 6 months now. Well, on Sunday we will have been. Seeing him use his talents to serve the Lord in a way that ministers to the hearts of the kids is so wonderful and I'm so blessed to have been here to encourage him. kind of crazy how God works. All of his co-workers have been asking me about our(Gus and I's) story, and every time I tell it, it amazes me where I was spiritually and emotionally, in December/January. I was ready to be a missionary, spend the rest of my life paying off school debt, while traveling the world playing music and hanging out with beautiful babies in different third world countries...maybe i would have dreads and maybe i would have been chillin' with my bestie Jessica Mcfaul on the beach in South America. Or maybe I would be in a band, like Hillsong. What never crossed my mind, however, was the thought of being in love. The idea of visiting my boyfriend whom i am in love with at Crooked Creek Ranch Young Life Camp, and hanging out with 400 high schoolers all week, would not have seemed appealing to me at the time. Now, however, I have officially feel in love with not only my boyfriend, but Young Life. I have met some amazing people, seen some amazing things, and experienced some awesome times with Gus.
The person that stood out to me the most I have met, is a guy named Zach. He has worked here a few times over the years, and everyone in the intern house and on staff loves the guy. He has a mental disability, but he does not let it affect the way he lives, or what he wants to do. While Gus was telling me a little bit about him, he told me Zach was writing a book. The next day I got the chance to ask Zach what his book was about. He told me a few summers ago he planned a 3 month, 18 state road trip to reunite with friends and family. The day before he left, he met a girl at a coffee shop, and 2 days later, they were talking about Jesus over breakfast. He said he then realized that if he was intentional with people and with being in relationships with people, a complete stranger would turn into a friend. I was amazed. Not only had this guy completely immersed his life in the healing power of Jesus Christ and conquered his disability, but also made an effort a lot of us don't make that God has called us to. As I sat in amazement listening to him, he told me his book is nothing but conversations with people he had on his road trip. I was pretty impressed, and told him I can't wait to read his book when it gets published.
Another group of people I got introduced to in a new way, were high-schoolers. I guess I built up a sort of resentment towards high schoolers, because my years of being in jr. high/high school were not always awesome..and i was FAR from being an awesome kid. I was mean to my friends and tried to immerse myself in youth group so I could mask my bad behavior. And this generation of high-schoolers don't have an awesome rep..similar to me ha. My heart softened though, as the week went on. Every activity these kids did was intentional to bring them and their group closer to their leaders and closer to the Lord. As the week went on, and the talks at Club got more and more intentional and intense, I started to realize that this is a lot like Campus Crusade for Christ, but for high schoolers. And these kids need Jesus just as much as I do. As much as the people at WSU need Him. For me to judge them or not be around them is ridiculous. Pretty soon they will end up like me and my friends, struggling to have a great community and walk with Christ out in this crazy world of ours...and Young LIfe introduces them to a walk with Christ and a better lifestyle. I loved everything about this camp and about this week. The thing that stood out to me the most was a time called real life, where a few of the leaders on Program, staff, and the worship leader of the week shared how they came to Christ through Young Life and how their lives have been touched by Jesus. THen after they finished (they split it up into 3 days), they brought out a lot of the leaders with cardboard signs, and one side had a sentence that described their life before jesus, then on the other side a sentence describing their current life. It was incredibly powerful. The one that stood out to me the most was:
"Religion left me feeling trapped"
"Relationship with Christ set me Free."
I know right? pretty amazing.
So over all...this week has been pretty amazing. Even though I had a rough day yesterday just because Gus and I were so tired, today is a new day and sadly it's my last. I hope to return ... maybe next summer...maybe work here? thinking that might be an amazing experience.
Anyways...long story short..young life is awesome. and i am sad i didn't fully get to embrace/understand/love it till now.
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